Premier League referee Mark Halsey has agreed to be a patron for the Adam Stansfield Foundation. Reporter Tom Bevan spoke to him about his decision to back the campaign set up in memory of the Grecians striker who died of bowel cancer in August and his own personal battle with the disease
AMONG the thousands of mourners and well-wishers who attended the funeral of Adam Stansfield was a familiar face who no one knew.
But sat quietly in Exeter Cathedral on that rainy September afternoon Premier League referee Mark Halsey was deep in reflection: "Why Adam and not me?" was the haunting question that refused to leave his mind.
For Mark – who is well used to dealing with the tantrums of superstar footballers and bearing the brunt of abuse from thousands of unhappy fans – knew what Adam had gone through before losing his battle to bowel cancer in August.
He had beaten the disease himself just months before.
"The big football family" as Mark called it, was a big part of his inspiration during some of his darkest days and it was without a moment's hesitation that he made the decision to drive from his home in Bolton to pay his respects to a 31-year-old footballer he had never met.
"I remember going to the funeral and sitting in the church and just thinking "Why Adam and not me? Why did I survive and he didn't. That is exactly how I felt in the cathedral that day.
"It is so sad for Adam's family, wife and children. I have got a four-year-old myself and it does not bear thinking about. It is such a tragedy."
Drawing on his experience Mark has accepted an offer to become patron of the Adam Stansfield Foundation, set up to help youth footballers in the area. He said a big part of his role would be raising awareness of the disease and to inspire others that it can be beaten.
Speaking exclusively to the Echo, he said: "It is just a massive shock when you hear someone has contracted this terrible disease. First hearing that Adam had cancer was devastating – and it felt more personal for me after what I had gone through.
"I had surgery twice, chemotherapy and radiotherapy so I knew exactly what he was going through. It is strange but you don't really know what it is like until it happens to you.
"Being diagnosed was the hardest part. For me it happened the day before the Premier League season started last year and after the opening game at Goodison Park had finished I thought I would not survive, let along referee again."
What he thought was just a lingering sore throat had just been diagnosed as a lymphoma. He remembered talking to his fellow officials before kick-off and telling them: "Look, I need your help today because I've got cancer," but somehow he made it through the game.
"The support I received was staggering," he said. "From the media to the players and manager, football fans and ordinary people in the street – it really was overwhelming.
"It was such an inspiration to me and really helped me through my treatment. This is part of the reason I want to do anything I can to hopefully inspire someone else to survive this disease.
"I was contacted by Andy Cole (chairman of the foundation) who asked me if I wanted to be patron. I did not give it any thought at all and if I can help raise money in any way I can I will do."
A meeting is being held next Wednesday to work out how Mark's talents and profile can be used but he has already signed up to referee a charity football match and is taking part in a run next May.
"I will be down quite a few times to Exeter and will do whatever I can to help raise as much money as possible in memory of Adam.
"I have been through it myself and can come and talk and go through my experience to hopefully give someone the inspiration to beat the disease."
After hearing of Adam's illness Mark said he was in contact with the secretary of Exeter City to receive regular updates on how Adam was doing.
"I was on a referee training camp when I heard news of Adam's death and I did not want to carry on the training," he said. "It was just devastating.
"He was such a fit guy – they say the fitter you are the more chance you have of surviving.
"The decision to attend his funeral was automatic. I wanted to be there as part of the football family. When something like this happens 'the family' really comes together and it did for Adam as well.
"It was fantastic to hear all the applause from the fans outside Exeter Cathedral. I watched Adam play a couple of times and may have refereed him when I was coming through the ranks. I understand he never got into trouble with referees – if only all players were like him."
In regards to his own recovery Mark was put into full remission last December and has check-ups every month. He now has no saliva so has problems eating and drinking and has to take on extra fluid during matches.
He refereed a couple of reserve games and a few football league games last season but by his own admission he was "not ready and not fit enough".
But this season he has worked so hard to regain his fitness and is back officiating in the top flight. He has now well and truly dusted off his whistle and will take charge of the Newcastle Wigan match on Saturday.
"I never thought I would come back after what I went through. It just drains your body.
"Fitness is the biggest challenge for me now but every day for me is a bonus. The fans have been magnificent. Even now when I referee games I get a standing ovation. It is very emotional and overwhelming. But as soon as the whistle blows they will still give me stick over my decisions but I would not have it any other way."
